How to get over a breakup
Your heart is broken and you don’t know what to do after a breakup. It is so painful and you think “How am I going to live now without him/her by my side?”
When you are going through this process of a breakup the first few days can be really painful. We’ve all been there. But when it happens to you personally it can be devastating and sometimes you feel completely helpless.
Fortunately, a few things can help you to bring back peace and happiness. Don’t be scared there are lots of people near you that can help you. There is always light at the end of the tunnel but you must take some steps to get there.
Getting over a breakup looks so hard at the beginning but it is just a matter of time when things will come to the right place.
Here we will present to you 5 main steps that you should implement in your life to heal from a breakup fast and continue with your life happier and more confident in yourself.
What To Do After A Breakup (5 Main Steps)
1. Cut the communication
Try to keep your distance don’t call, text, or meet. This is maybe the number 1 rule after a breakup.
You should even try to block that person on Facebook or Instagram for a while. It doesn’t need to be permanent. Just hit the snooze button for let’s say 30 days (temporary stop seeing posts from this person).
If you don’t cut the contact the risk of getting back into the relationship is higher. Also, you can end up in a war of words and both say something that you will regret in the future.
There is a risk of increased frustration, hurt, and anxiety after ending that call or text message.
Putting a story on Insta and waiting for your ex to see? Or does reading your ex twits will help you to heal after a breakup? You know the answer.
Social media are just complicating your healing and stopping you to move on.
Replace the urge of checking his/her social profiles with something that will keep you present at the moment. You can call a friend, go for a jog, write a journal.
If you are too anxious and don’t know how to deal with that read this article, Grounding Techniques To Try When You Are Stressed and Anxious.
Consider unfriending or blocking your ex from social media. You can always send friend requests after heartbreak isn’t so fresh.
Delete all photos where you are together, old messages, unfollow their accounts, and try to make a little break from social media. You can even block their number so you won’t be upset when the phone rings (whenever it rings you think is him/her).
You can try this:
- Call your friends instead of calling your ex. Talk to them it doesn’t need to be correlated to your current relationship problem. Talk with your friend about something else that will help you to change your mood and thoughts.
- Do something like watching your favorite show on Netflix or go for a walk when the desire to call or text your ex comes up. Pick an activity that you can do to replace that desire.
Taking at least some time apart and without contact can help to make your decision-making process a little less stressful.
2. Accept your feelings
First of all, you must understand that breakups are hard and what you are feeling is natural. After a breakup, you will be confused. The person that was always with you to cuddle, eat dinner, watch movies, sleep together, now is not there.
This will make you feel lonely and maybe scary and if we look at this from the scientific aspect, your body is not getting enough dopamine and oxytocin (chemicals for feeling good). Your body is craving for these chemicals but it’s not getting them, so you are confused, unhappy, and down.
What to do? Just accept these feelings it is not going to be always like this. Honor your feelings and know that they will get less intense the more that you let them out.
Try listening to sad songs. A study conducted by Durham University reveals that sad music can be enjoyable instead of depressing.
Why? Because it triggers positive memories that can lift our mood. Some scientists claim that melancholy music is linked to the hormone prolactin (a chemical that helps to curb grief).
By brain scanning, it is found that listening to music releases dopamine (a neurotransmitter associated with food, drugs, and sex). This is where we get pleasure from listening to sad music.
3. Don’t change your physical self change your physical space
There is nothing wrong with you and you shouldn’t “fix” anything. The relationship is over because that person wasn’t meant for you. Maybe you were in a toxic relationship without knowing about that.
Someone else will come over and they will love you just the way you are. No need to make a drastic haircut or buy whole new clothes. Be patient things will be better.
There is something that you can change after a breakup, and that is your physical space.
If you live together move out as soon as you can (immediately), and if you don’t live together make changes in your home. By doing this you will make a mental re-set.
Make simple changes like throwing away mutual photos or change the sheets or pillows, move around the furniture. It doesn’t need to be whore re-decorating. Small things will help.
Make an emotional housecleaning. Throw away birthday cards, clothes from your ex, tickets from a movie, and other stuff that makes you sad and brings back memories. The more things you put away that are bringing memories from your ex, the more space you will have for new memories (new person in your life).
“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option”
Mark Twain
4. Don’t rush in another relationship – do something fun
Sometimes the best way to go through a tough time (like a breakup) is to focus on yourself and explore something unfamiliar.
To move on start creating new memories where your ex is not present. Focus on yourself. You need something to channel your energy into.
Think, what are the things that you’ve always wanted to do. Go to dancing lessons, learn how to cook… Do something new so your mind will be concentrated on that, not on your ex. Do the things that make you smile laugh and feel good inside.
Spend a little time alone, exploring. Don’t run into another relationship just because you are alone or want to show your ex that you can. This is the worst choice. You will never get over your ex by doing this.
Take time for self-improvement and meet new people when you are ready. Don’t rush, talk to them know them better before making the next step.
5. Reach out for support ( friends or therapy)
It is normal at the beginning after a breakup to miss your ex, but instead of thinking of him/her reach out to your friends.
If you are a person that wants to express your feelings call your best friend and talk about your problems. Get it out of your system. If you don’t have anyone you can trust (we are sure that you have), then go to a therapist.
“Don’t cry when the sun is gone because the tears won’t let you see the stars”
Violeta Para
You will feel much better after getting out those negative thoughts and worries that are making your soul tired. After a breakup, the main thing is not to stay isolated and without contact.
If you don’t want to talk with someone about the breakup then just hang out talk for something else or just sit with your friends and binge-watch shows on Netflix.
Final thoughts on how to get over a breakup:
Hopefully, this advice will help you to heal after a breakup. Remember that this is your life. You don’t need to ruin your mental health for someone that doesn’t deserve you. You are much stronger.
Don’t look at your breakup as something too bad. It is not easy to cut the connections with someone with who you’ve spent many days and hours of your life. But look at that as a life lesson.
Maybe you were in that relationship to learn something new. About your feelings and how other people look at you and your personality. Sometimes a breakup is that initial start fire that helps you to grow, evolve, and be more conscious.
Remember that the pain that you feel after a breakup can be the best motivator for future changes. Without motivation, we can’t achieve anything in our lives.
Stay strong everything will come in place just have patients.