15 Warning Signs Of A Toxic Relationship

Signs of a toxic relationship

Are you in a toxic relationship? Yes, you are here because you don’t know. What are the signs of a toxic relationship? How to deal with toxic behavior?

These are the topics that we will discuss here in this article.

We all know that a stable relationship is building step by step. It includes giving space and respecting each other.

But we should know that love is blind and we often ignore the signs that we are in a harmful relationship. Or maybe we don’t recognize the signs.

We bring you the warning signs of a toxic relationship. If you notice many of these signs in your current relationship, maybe it is time to rethink about your status and partner.

Definition Of A Toxic Relationship

A toxic relationship is defined as “any relationship [between people who] don’t support each other, where there’s conflict and one seeks to undermine the other, where there’s competition, where there are disrespect and a lack of cohesiveness.” – Dr. Lillian Glass communication and psychology expert.

Every relationship has ups and downs, but when it comes to a toxic relationship there are more downs than ups.

A toxic relationship harms your self-esteem it contaminates your happiness and the way you see yourself and the world.

Relationships can start healthy, but bad feelings, bad history, or long-term unmet needs can fester, polluting the relationship, and changing the people in it. It can happen easily and quickly, and it can happen to the strongest people.

Signs of unhealthy relationship

Warning Signs Of A Toxic Relationship

1. They are controlling and excessively jealous

If your partner can’t accept the thought of you not being by their side, you should rethink that relationship.

A partner who insists always to be close and do everything together or he\she doesn’t allow you to be yourself and constantly monitor your movements and intentions- yes, that is an indication of a toxic relationship.

2. You avoid saying what you need because there is just no pint

We all need and want something from a relationship. Some of those things are love, affection, connection, sex, appreciation.

If you try to talk about these needs and that talk ends up in a fight, empty promises, jealousy or madness you’ll either bury the need or resent that it keeps being overlooked. Either way, it’s toxic.

3. All the love and understanding comes from you

You can’t hold a relationship when all the work comes from you. Things will not change if you push harder, work harder, if you give all your emotions, try to change things.

Let it go. You are enough. If you are not able to live that relationship give what you think you should give, but not more than that.


Read Also7 Couples Therapy Exercises For A Strong Relationship


4. If you are only accepted when you say ‘yes’

In a relationship saying what you want is equally important as saying what you don’t want.

A good partner will respect if you don’t say ‘yes’ to everything he\she says or do.

If you are only accepted when you say ‘yes’ it is time to rethink that relationship and say ‘no’.

5. Passive-aggressive behavior

Passive-aggressive behavior is an indirect attack and a cowardly move for control. The toxicity lies in stealing your capacity to respond and for issues to be dealt with directly.

The attack is subtle and often disguised as something else, such as anger disguised as indifference ‘whatever’ or ‘I’m fine’; manipulation disguised as permission ‘I’ll just stay at home by myself while you go out and have fun,’ and the worst – a villain disguised as a hero, ‘You seem really tired baby. We don’t have to go out tonight.

You just stay in and cook yourself some dinner and I’ll have a few drinks with Svetlana by myself hey? She’s been a mess since the cruise was postponed.’

You know the action or the behavior was designed to manipulate you or hurt you because you can feel the scrape, but it’s not obvious enough to respond to the real issue.

If it’s worth getting upset about, it’s worth talking about, but passive-aggressive behavior shuts down any possibility of this.

” Don’t settle for a relationship that won’t let you be yourself.” – Oprah 

6. Nothing gets resolved

There are problems in every relationship. In a toxic relationship, every conflict ends up in an argument.

There is no trust that the other person will have the capacity to deal with the issue in a way that is safe and preserves the connection. When this happens, it needs to get buried, and in a relationship, unmet needs will always feed resentment.

7. You are not practicing self-care

It is not all about your partner’s behavior. Your behavior patterns can be red flags for a toxic relationship.

Self-care is vital to every relationship to keep toxicity out. A toxic relationship is when you are not engaging in self-care.

If you are neglecting ‘Me-Time’, for example, you are dropping all your activities in favor of your partners’ schedule- yes, it is a sign of a toxic relationship.

Toxic relationship signs

8. You keep waiting for them to change

People need to realize that just because they can find some positive aspects of the relationship, doesn’t mean they should stay in it.

One of the biggest signs of a toxic relationship is when one of the partner’s hopes and waits for the other partner to change his\her toxic behavior. No, it is not going to happen.

When you’re in a toxic relationship, your judgment is often clouded and you’re putting your faith in change that will never come.

9. You feel very insecure

Rachel Sussman a marriage and family therapist in New York says: “When you’re in a healthy relationship, there’s a significant back-and-forth where you’re complimenting each other, bringing out the best in each other, and letting each other know ‘I care about you. I’m here for you and this is why”.

These things are not happening in a toxic relationship. So if you are insecure around your partner you are not in a healthy relationship.

10. They insult you

If your partner constantly criticizes and insults you it is not you should not allow it to be that way.

It is important to set rules for yourself, never insult your partner. If he\she insults you don’t fall in that game.

You are better and you should find a better person because you deserve better.

11. They don’t let you go out with your friends

One of the warning signs of a toxic relationship is that you barely see your friends. And when you see them you bring your partner with you.

It is important to know that sometimes a relationship needs space to grow. Spending a lot of time together is so normal at the beginning of love. But when the time goes it is good to give each other space otherwise you will ruin the relationship.

12. They go through your phone

Checking someone’s phone or e-mail is not showing love it is an invasion of privacy and signs of an unhealthy relationship.

This kind of behavior can isolate partners and even lead to domestic abuse. You must trust each other because trust is the most important thing.

You can’t get trust, trust is building through time and it is the most important thing that healthy relationships are built on.

13. You don’t have a positive feeling about the future

As relationships start unwinding people, you’re getting to know each other and at some point, people talk about the future,” Sussman says.

“Usually after a couple of months, there’s talk of exclusivity.” But in a toxic relationship, that talk may never come. Or the Big Talk (of marriage).

Oftentimes in toxic relationships, you don’t know where you stand with your partner.

They’re hot one day and cold the next.

14. They are always blaming other people for their problems

If your partner always blames someone else for the problems or why things aren’t going well, whether that person is you, their family, boss, or someone else- that is a big sign of toxic behavior.

Part of being in a healthy relationship of any kind means owning your feelings and working through them—not pointing fingers.

15. Nothing gets resolved

Every relationship will have its issues. In a toxic relationship, nothing gets worked through because any conflict ends in an argument.

There is no trust that the other person will have the capacity to deal with the issue in a way that is safe and preserves the connection. When this happens, it needs to get buried, and in a relationship, unmet needs will always feed resentment.


Read More: Most Common Reasons for Divorce According to Therapists and Lawyers


What to do if you are in a toxic relationship

If some of these red flags sound familiar, it is time to take some action. If it’s toxic, it’s changing you and it’s time to leave or put up a very big wall. (See here for how.)

Be clear about where the relationship starts and where you begin. Keep your distance emotionally and think of it as something to be managed, rather than something to be beaten or understood. Look for the patterns and look for the triggers.

Then, be mindful of what is okay and what isn’t. Above all else, know that you are strong, complete, and vital. Don’t buy into any tiny-hearted, close-minded push that would have you believe otherwise. You’re amazing.


Further Read: 7 Couples Therapy Exercises For A Strong Relationship


Conclusion: These are some of the signs of a toxic relationship. If they are happening to you it is time t rethink your partner and take some steps.

At the beginning it may be hard, knowing that you are in a toxic relationship is not easy for anyone.

Be strong, you are the most important and your mental and emotional wellbeing are very important for you. Don’t let someone ruin them and after that go away. Protect yourself.


Read More: What Happens With Our Bodies When We Fall In Love


Signs of a toxic relationship

References: brightside.me time.com heysigmund.com womenshealthmag.com

Warning signs of a toxic relationship

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