What happens when we fall in love? What changes in our brain and body? Yes, many things change and we are not the same as before.
It is not easy to love someone. But it is not difficult too. Well if you find something in the middle of easy and difficult your relationship will last. On the other hand, you know what will happen.
“Lovers are those for whom no minute is like any other, people between whom nothing habitual takes place, just what is new, unprecedented, unexpected. In such connections there exists almost unbearable happiness. When we understand our lives correctly, we can slowly grow into such happiness by preparing ourselves for it. When we love, we must not forget that we are beginners, bunglers of life, apprentices in love. We must learn love and that takes calm, patience, and composure.”- Rainer Maria Rilke.
These words are written 100 years ago. As you see they are true even today. These words are so powerful.
Rilke reminds us “that we must learn love“. This so deep experience is so different for every one of us.
“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”- Lucille Ball
This process so natural and universal sometimes can be so difficult. If you think dipper it comes that, the art of learning to love is one of the most demanding challenges in our lives.
What Happens When We Fall In Love
Many things change when we fall in love. There are changes in our physical and mental condition.
Lack Of Sleep
In the beginning when you fall in love, especially in the first months your serotonin levels fall a little. Also known as the feel-good hormone is responsible for keeping you calm and sleepy.
With all that dopamine and norepinephrine running through your veins, your body is not ready for sleep. You are active and you want to spend more time with your partner!
This is truly a chemical process. All this energy comes from phenylethylamine, which triggers the release of dopamine and norepinephrine.
This chemical process also occurs when you watch a thrilling movie, ride a fast car, paragliding…
Read More: Nighttime Routines For Better Mornings
You want to be with your love all the time
In a new relationship, you want to spend more time with your loved one. When you are not together and you are sitting with your friends on a coffee you are looking for an excuse to bring up the new love in the conversation.
As psychologist Deborah Khoshaba, Psy.D. wrote for Psychology Today: “Increased testosterone levels in women during the early stages of romantic lovemaking them more sexual and aggressive,” she explained.
“While decreased testosterone levels in men make them more emotional and receptive at this time.”
These hormonal changes make women feel more sexual and men more empathetic. This is a recipe for both sides quickly becoming obsessed with each other.
When You Are In Love You Feel Butterflies
In the early stages of a new relationship when you see your new love unexpected on the street or in a coffee shop you immediately feel nervous, ecstatic, and crazy. There is an explanation for these feelings.
When we are falling in love our brain releases cortisol and oxytocin. Cortisol is a stress hormone and oxytocin is a feel-good hormone. These hormones are guilty of why we feel happy and nervous at the same time when we see our new love.
When the cortisol enters our bloodstream, it causes the blood vessels around our gut to constrict. This constricting sensation causes nausea or “butterflies.”
You’ll Feel Happy When You Fall In Love
Oxytocin, the feel-good hormone is not responsible just for “butterflies” in your stomach, it is also one component behind that blissful feeling you experience when falling in love.
Also, the body releases this hormone after falling in love, while nursing a baby, and after an orgasm.
“Oxytocin, a bonding chemical that makes us enjoy sex, is designed to keep people together for as long as it takes to have loads of sex, a baby, and to raise it to safe levels,” Dr. John Marsden, senior lecturer in addictive behavior at the National Addiction Centre, explained to Cosmopolitan.
“Therefore, your body changes quickly with the emotion of love,” Marsden went on.
Your Heart Will Beat Faster When You Are In Love
The cause of this response is adrenaline. This response can be quite a stong. Your heartbeat may quicken in the same way it does when running on a treadmill.
For the average, healthy individual, this is nothing to worry about. However, falling in love could be risky for someone with a serious heart condition.
Your Body Will Act As Its Painkiller When You’re In Love
“When people are in this passionate, all-consuming phase of love, there are significant alterations in their mood that are impacting their experience of pain,” Sean Mackey, physician-scientist, professor, and chief of the Division of Pain Management at Stanford.
As part of his study, Mackey, along with Arthur Aron, a professor of psychology at the State University of New York at Stony Brook, asked 15 undergraduate students to bring in pictures of their partners as well as pictures of equally attractive acquaintances.
While showing the participants the pictures, the researchers used a device that caused “mild pain.” Meanwhile, the participants’ brains were also scanned.
The results were clear: Love was able to reduce participants’ pain — “and at much higher levels than by concentrating on the photo of the attractive acquaintance.”
“It turns out that the areas of the brain activated by intense love are the same areas that drugs use to reduce pain,” Aron revealed.
He noted, “This tells us that you don’t have to just rely on drugs for pain relief.”
You Can Feel Addicted
Like the drugs that activate our pleasure centers, the same thing happens with love.
In research about the relationship between addiction and love that authors suggested that love can be addictive because it’s a need that can be temporarily satisfied but can become very distracting if it’s not fulfilled for a long period. (Official medical classification guides do not include love as an addiction, however.)
Some of these feelings may have to do with sex — sexual activity, orgasms, and some drugs all release dopamine in an area of the brain called the nucleus accumbens.
An orgasm’s rush of oxytocin and serotonin, along with muscular relaxation, can leave you craving more.
That’s why it might feel like engaging in sexual activity can give you a rush.
Your Blood Pressure May Lower
Hypertension or elevated blood pressure is a dangerous condition that can lead to a heart attack, kidney failure or a stroke.
Falling in love can serve as a natural way to lower down the blood pressure.
A study published by the US Department Of Health Services says that married couples have lower blood pressure and lower risk of developing cardiovascular disease.
The body’s chemical and hormonal response to falling in love can regulate blood pressure.
Conclusion: Falling in love is a great experience. You feel happier, less stressed and your hormones an at high levels. This is a great thing. Every one of us has experienced and knows about that strange feeling.
These feelings can make real chaos in our daily routine. Psychologist Deborah Khoshaba, Psy.D. told Psychology Today that, during this time, we can easily start to lose ourselves. “You are adding a dating relationship to your normal, busy routine,” she said.
“Your normal responsibilities at work and home may fall to the wayside, as you put more energy into solidifying your love relationship.”
Khoshaba explained that we feel a new sense of vulnerability at the beginning of a relationship.
“Loving asks you to lower your defenses and loosen up your boundaries so that you can merge your needs and desires with those of your lover,” she added. “This process can be threatening and make you feel unsafe.”
She recommends following a few rules. First, keep your normal schedule, and make sure to take care of yourself.
When anxious thoughts enter your mind, try to look at them objectively.
Finally, she urged, “Don’t lower your defenses, personal boundaries, and expectations to the extent that you are denying what you desire and need. …
You want to build an authentic relationship attachment, rather than one based on fantasy alone.”